Matthew C. (wolfwood2) wrote in wld_pitt,
Matthew C.

Cade tells it like it is

Cade Thornpuller here, you lucky dogs. I'm going to give you the real scoop on dungeon life, straight from the sorceror's mouth.

So when last we met, the barghasts went running, courtesy of a few devastating spells from yours truly. (The others may have helped a bit.) My main hob Grommin shows up with the last staff, we returned it to the celestials, yadda-yadda...

But it turns out that an adventurer's works is never done. Kozuma was all like, "Oh, we have to get the Inevitables back together with the Celestials so they can all be one big evil-stopping family again." (I may be paraphrasing slightly.) Well, I was down with that. The Cadester loves the families! (Just as long as it's not my family.)

Now I'm all ready to go, but noooo, first we have to consult and plan and all that. So we go talk to this celestial who can turn into a whirlwind (so I hear), and he's all like, Kill, Crush, Destroy, Smash the inevitables, wouldn't that be fun?

No, Whirly-McWhirl, not fun.

So we wait for the Celestial with the big hammer and giver her our pitch instead. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. If we were just going to go from one to another until we got the answer we wanted, why bother asking? Ah well, all turned out okay because we got the go-ahead. Even a plan! Going to get the big 'bargains-keeper' over there, T'Coras to look at the Charter and... somehow... that will fix things. I kinda stopped paying attention during the explanation, but I was sure my man Kozuma knew what he was doing.

So, tromp, tromp, tromp over there. Yeah, after the Barghast butt-kicking we the big dogs around this section. No one messes with us.

On the way we meet this other Hob, Ackerson. He's the Inevitables' butler or something. Twitchy guy, but friendly enough I guess. He takes us the rest of the way to T'Coras, who is a little upset about the group letting some prisoners go. (Before my time, but all for one and one for all, baby.)

So Kozuma starts talking to T'Coras. And talking and talking and talking..... ZZZZZZZ. Wha- Oh, sorry, I think I nodded off again just remembering it. So T'Coras treks off with Amaya to go see the Charter, and I guess things went okay there.

Meanwhile, I challenge my man Saar to describe an illusion that I can't create. (Got to get my Minor Image practice on.) He's all like smartass, asking for a 20 foot goblin in a room with ceilings 15 feet high. But I show him and just create an illusion of the lower half. Sans pants. Yeah, take that, Saar!

Anyway, Amaya and the Inevitable come back and now everything's cool. They tell Ackerson he can go. They let the Bhargasts go. It's all great, I guess.

Oh, Forgot! The egg-sac holding my little spider familiar-to-be pulsed today when I was talking to it. I think it knows my voice! I got to con Amaya into catching a rat for me so I have something to feed little.... Thumper? when he hatches. Hmmm, must consider name thing further.

We head down to region A, then over to Region B on our way to see a bunch of gnolls and giants with three arms about a key. Apparently. (I may have gotten a little distracted when Kozuma was giving the briefing.)

On the way, we pass through this room piled deep in bones and body parts that feels creepy-evil and horrible. Naturally, this is the room my pals want to stop and poke around in. There four warded doors we have to get open and there are ghasts and wights and varghouls and... and... eh, I don't want to talk about it. For some reason, Amaya has to be the one to stand there and get jumped when we open the doors. Couldn't she unlock them and them let somebody with, you know, better armor open them? Just a thought. (Which might get Amaya chewed on a little less.)

Finally we find the section we're looking for and set off to explore. Flying without a map, Woo-Hoo! We decide to go south because dog-men sound a lot easier to deal with than giants. (Especially to me. I come to about the ankle on a giant. The ankle!)

First we find a room that has "trap" written on it. It turns out to be a trap! (Who woulda thunk. I for sure thought the writing on the wall was a bluff, but I guess it was a trap-trap. You know.) I throw the evil flail we picked up into the flames, so that's that gone. Oh, and RYn saved Kozuma's life, but that's not news.

Then in the room across the way, Ryn sets off another trap and nearly dies. Well, he looks mildly uncomfortable anyway, and those with Spellcraft assure me it could have killed him. (I'm not picking that sucky Phantasmal Killer when _I_ get 4th level spells. Not after that showing.)

The important part though, is he finds these dice made out of knucklebones. I'm all like, let me roll them, I'm great at gambling! And they're like, you are? (They don't have to look so surprised.) I'm a great Bluffer, I tell them.

So then they point out that you don't bluff in dice.

All right, so I'm more of a cards man. I'll roll those dice yet, see if I don't! And Kozuma pockets the dice. (I let him have it, because he still looks so shaky from the fire trap.)

Then we find a long trail of blood. Nice. In a room off to the side, there's this goblin who's totally meek. And then...

Oooh, so ticked off here. Ryn calls this goblin "poor little guy". Little! He's a fully inch taller than me. So I tell him off, but I feel bad because Ryn's a cool guy who means well.

It's not his fault he's so ridiculously over-sized.

The goblin briefs us on the immediate area. We're real close to gnoll territory, and we're also near where an undead who killed some gnolls is. Solution! We'll go kill the undead and then bring the undead's head to the gnolls as a peace offering.

Ain't diplomacy grand?

And if that doesn't work, I've got a fireball just itching to go.

Ooops, Kozuma is sending the goblin on his way. I gotta pass the little guy this note before he goes.

Because you, Mr. Goblin King, totally need to hear how much we rock. Everybody should.
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